A tattoo of an oxytocin molecule, the hormone that makes one fall in love.
What once felt like a “family” now feels like nothing. What once was the best way to end the week every Sunday has turned to a day I rue. The feeling of being unwanted and the feeling of being shunned has gotten to the point where I just don’t want to quit.
When we meet up, it seems like it’s the first time all over again. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should hug you, tackle, kiss, or just wave. It’s so weird and awkward because I get so nervous. I guess that’s a good thing right? I get butterflies, I can’t help but smile when i see you, I get shy and I am happy whenever you’re next to me.
That’s what everybody tells me. But how can I ? it’s been since January, nearly FIVE months and I can’t tell you how I feel? I understand how much you’re going through and I have your back 100% through every step.
Sometimes..you text me like I’m just another one of those guys who hits on you and it hurts more than you know.. But what can I do? you’re not mine. you’re not my girlfriend. I can’t just say, “give me more effort” without sounding like a dick.
These past 5 months, you’ve shown me that you’re worth every second of my time.. but at the same time you’ve shown me that I’m nothing more than one of those “creeps” who hit on you.
It’s frustrating how I just can’t tell you everything without complicating things.
